Dark Chocolate Espresso Cupcakes

Today I came to the realization that... my birthday is tomorrow. 
Is this what it is like to be an adult? To be so busy I forget my own birthday?
The constant, never-changing schedule of everyday life just drains me of real life. That's why I must do everything I can to break the cycle. 

In celebration of my birthday, I would love to share a delicious recipe for... 
Dark Chocolate Espresso Cupcakes!

I've made these before for my boyfriend's birthday, and they are to die for!

Espresso Chocolate Cupcakes

1/3 cup butter

1/2 tsp vanilla

1.3 cups flour

.4 cups cocoa powder

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1 cup sugar

1 large egg

.4 cup hot strong coffee

.6  cups buttermilk

Frosting

1.1 cups chocolate

1 cup + 5 tbsp butter

1.5 cups 

1.5 cups powdered sugar

.6 coco powder

2 tbsp espresso

1/2 tsp vanilla

CupCake Directions:

Preheat oven to 350

Melt butter, add vanilla, and let it cool. Then sift flour cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder and sugar into a large bowl. Whip the egg with the buttermilk. Mix coffee with butter and then add all liquid ingredients to the dry ones and mix the batter until smooth. Then fill cupcake liners about 2/3 full. Bake for 17- 20 minutes. 

Frosting Directions:

Melt chocolate and then leave to cool. Whip butter until white and fluffy. Gradually add powdered sugar and cocoa powder and mix until smooth. Add the melted chocolate and whip together. Add espresso and vanilla and mix until frosting is smooth and fluffy. 

Found the recipe here. :)

http://call-me-cupcake.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/perfect-chocolate-espresso-cupcakes.html#.U9g6dY1dVQU

The Bright Side in the Midsts of Overwhelm

The end of the school year is near, and so much is happening. I feel entirely overwhelmed.

On the bright side though, I got a new job that I am extremely excited about.

The weather has been absolutely wonderful.

And I have the best boyfriend in the world who is helping me with everything along the way. He eases all the stress and makes life a whole lot happier. 

This weekend I got a little taste of what it is like to be a normal girl at my friend's bachelorette party. If it wasn't for the sangria in my system, I would have been completely lost in translation, cut off from conversation, and entirely on the outside.


But it was a beautiful day at the lake, and the girls were perfectly nice. So I took a deep breath, took a big gulp of sangria,  and said a little prayer. I dove right it. And I kinda fit in. Most of all, I had a great time. Now it won't be something I do every day, I still enjoy cuddling my cat and watching supernatural way more than I like to interact with people. But it was really nice to be on the inside for once. It was nice to fit in with the typical chatty cathys. It was nice to belong. 


But more than that, I now know that the only thing holding me back is me. It is truly me. I can do whatever I want. I do not have to be the shy girl, sitting on the sideline. I can make a gazzilion lady friends if I want. I may not really want to, but I know the only person who holds me back. Well, my sobriety may be holding me back a little as well ;) 

Losing a Friend

My parents cant keep her. I can't keep her. So the only dog I have ever loved (I am more a cat person) is being given away. Her name is Akira. She was a great protector and a loving companion. I raised her from a pup, took her to doggy school twice because she failed, and I grew up with her. She was my dog. She was my friend. She was there for me during a painful time of transition. Yea I know its a dog, but she was my dog and having her around made life a whole lot better.

I am going to miss her so much.
I hope her next home showers her wit love and plays with her every day.
I wish she could be mine forever. But instead I had to say goodbye.

Starting a New Journey

Fired.
Fired for the first time.

At first I didn't even realize I was being fired. I guess lawyers are good at that. Everything coming out of her mouth just seemed so cheery.

Sure, I totally understand you are looking for someone more full time. Yea, now would be the time to start looking for a new job this summer. Nice of you to give me some time to look. Yea I have my key card. Wait? Leave right now?

It hit so fast and so hard I didn't even realize it at first. Like a deep cut in the winter. 
Whether what she was saying was truth or not, I don't know. Lawyers are tricky that way.

But I wasn't meant for that life anyway. I realized this after the shock set in, and after the tears had stopped. I am a biology major pursuing research. I don't belong in a Law Office. Sure, it was a good job- no stress, flexible hours, good pay- but it wasn't me, and it wasn't my calling. 

So I got fired. What now?
Start a blog.
Yea thats a bit crazy, but it is something that I have always wanted to do. No not as a job, but just something I have always been interested in. After losing my job, I realized that I am waiting around for life to happen. There are so many things I want to do, blogging be just one of them, and I keep putting them off for security. For money. and Why? Is that what life is about?  I don't think so.

So today I am jobless, but I am free. 
Today marks the start of actually living my life. I am going to start doing what I want to, even in my job choices. I am going to start taking risks, even if I am afraid. I am going to start living in the moment, and finding the sunshine in every day. 

And I'm gonna Blog about it. :)